Monday, August 30, 2010

I hope she doesn't think I'm weird or anything.

This girls' blog is AMAZING.
Plus I want her to shoot my senior pictures.
That's not weird right?
A girl I barley know who probably doesn't even live close to me?
YEP. Not weird.
ANYWAY. She's got talent.


If you could do these I think you'd be my hero.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

I hate school.

Just kidding folks.
I guess I'm just bummed out summer is over.
It's been a busy week.
I'm tired.
So... I need to vent.
Promise not to judge me?
Thanks guys(:
Here goes... I hate my face. I hate that I have to wake up everyday feeling the way I am. I hate the thoughts I get of discouragement and failure. I hate that I have pressure from my parents. I hate how I'm not perfect at church. I hate that I count myself out of everything. I hate how negative I can be at times. I hate how I "play it too cool". I hate that I wish I was someone else. I hate how my plans always fail. I hate how I always put my self down. I hate/love that I'm a senior.(bittersweet)I hate that I'm growing up. I hate that my friends are super rude. I hate that I feel like no one understands me. I hate that I feel like a big baby as I'm writing this. I hate how I'm thinking about deleting this but I won't. I hate how I'm lazy and won't clean my room. I hate getting criticized. Especially about my singing. I hate that I
can't receive CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I hate that I'm fat. I hate being scared. I hate my past and I'm scared if people know about it. I hate how I don't completely depend on God. I hate how sometimes I feel so ugly and gross. I hateee my legs. I hate walking past people and trying to figure out what they're gonna say about me.
I just want someone to be proud of me. I want to do something that will make someone go ... "Hey.. she's amazing I'm glad I saw what she did." I want to make a difference in someone's life. I just want to feel like I'm important to this world. I hate the fact that I let my parents down. I feel like they're embarrassed 'cause I'm fat. Another day, another struggle. I want to go to a place out of my head.
But hey... other than that life is okay.
Just sums up what I feel right now.
Actually no, not really.

"Everything will be okay in the end...
if it's not okay, it's not the end."

Friday, August 20, 2010

Yeah baby.

You've got a face for a smile you know...
A shame you waste it when your breaking me slowly.
Demi; Your all Disney, but I love this song(:
And catch me.
Dang girl you're deep.

As for you Chace; Marry me♥


I need new ones.
The hair is fine... I guess I need new clips.
Is that possible?
Just like cut out the clips and get new ones?
I'll see to that.
Anyway I also need to
dye it.
My roots are growing back.
What color though?
Any suggestions?
I'm not diggin' my short hair so
I'll for sure keep my extensions.
I also want my bangs to grow out.
I'm a bit sketchy about that part.
Cause I use my bangs to hide myself sometimes.
Eh, I'll keep 'em around.
I want LONG bangs though like.. this;
you know, choppy but long.
Right now I have full bangs but
I pull them off to the side.
I think I'll go light.
Hm.. yeah light.
and looong(:

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I wanna be...

MORE than just a name to people.
Made Less.
Torn Apart.
That's what I was.
I'm still struggling.
I'm finishing the race that
was set before me.
I feel like I'm loosing.
I feel like I have two faces.
Get rid of that.

Dear Heart... Why Him?

I am trying to remember. Remember what makes me happy. I forgot how. I hate days like this. One day I'm great. The other I'm not.
I am flipping through the thousands and millions of memories in my head. I can't... remember.
I'd rather die than loose you.

Is it ever going to be ... enough?

I miss you.
Forget about

I hate that I depend on you.

I remember when I was deeply wounded but, I survived♥

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

I'm still alive.

Girl's night went rather well.
I loved being with my girls♥

Monday, August 16, 2010

Early Bird... Catches the Worm?

Yeah... I woke up @ 5 today(:
I was happy.
I went to pray with my mum at church.
(My parents are christian pastors.)
It felt goood.
Prayed so I can have a job.
Interceded for people.
I swear everyday should start like that(;
So how was your morning?
Hmm that's wonderful.
Yes yes, I'm glad.
Had a great morning with my mum.
I should make a shirt like that.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

I love books.

Wanna know why?

•Different adventures.
•New friends.
•It's all clear.
•It gives me places to dream about.
•Invents things that no one has ever even dreamed of.
•It will all stay with me until the very end
well after ...
lord Voldermolt is DEAD.
Narnia is GONE.
and Alice is AWAKE.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Take everything.

Until only love remains.

Tell me how you feel.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

i feel overwhelmed.
I'm killing myself
ugh i need to be 115 the least.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Girl's Night.

I've been working hard on Girl's Night!
I've been planning it since forever, I want it to be perfect.
I'm so glad my frens have my back.
I ♥ you gals.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Help me breathe,

'cause I don't think I can keep doing it on my own.
I'm drowning.
Help me out?

Thursday, August 5, 2010


I'm a misfit.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Why do we reject so much? when we as humans, know the pain of rejection?
Do you think if life was so horrible, would there be such a thing as... love?
EVERY thought has it's reason.
Clarify for me;

Is there such a thing as perfection?

He said; there IS such thing as perfection, but for is just our goal.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

I want to fly.

Fly far away from here.
Leave for a while. forever.
Forget everything.
Loose myself.
Let go.
I wish I was Wendy
and Peter Pan could just come and take me away.
And we'd fly away to Neverland.
And just stay kids forever
No worries.
No stress.
No parents.
Just ourselves.
But realty sets in.
I hate realty.
I wanna dream forever.
Just give me wings so I can leave.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Once more.

We're back.
Where it all began.
Love at first sight.
I'm scared your gonna leave again.
Just stay?
It's been so long
I'm scared I might just be
IN love with the idea of love.
But your more than just an idea.
You were the first one to see my heart.
Let's keep it like this?
I like it.
Grow old with me?
K thanks(:
PS. I love you.