How am I?

I don't know.

I don't like myself.

There's this huge emptiness just.. it's just there. waiting for me to fill it.

fill it with something.

Your that something.

But yet... yet you walk past me.

I've become just another face in the halls for you.

what will it take for you to notice me again?

Nothing right?

I've tried so hard over the years.

But i'm not worth it anymore?

I'm not worth your love.

No dear.

this isn't how it works.

I gotta stand up.

Chin up.

Up.

Up.

Up.

I have something to tell you... I just can't find the right words.

Tomorrow is mine and my cousins birthday!!! woooooooo.

I'm going to surprise visit her in Utah.

She's gonna love it. Hm I love cousins.

Anyway have a great day.

& HAPPY BIRTHDAY COUSIN LOVE YOU! <3

Her name's Melissa. She's a doll.

(:

Nothing stays the same darling. You were a fool to believe it.

I'm so disappointed with myself.

Jesus... I need help. A lot of help.

Today is a new day.

I feel like I'm lacking something. Like there's something out there that I need to be happy and I don't know where to find it or what it is.

Maybe I do know what it is but it's hard to get it. And what if I'm wrong? What if I don't need it. No... what if I DO need it and it's not hard to get it's just something that... that I can't bring myself to accept. Oh boy it's gonna be a long weekend.

Well I sure am gonna miss high school.

Venice High School... you were so good to me. I learned to survive without the help of all those nasty bitches that were my so called friends. I'm glad I have my few good and true girls with me.

I'm excited to step out into the world and conquer it. Ready to go to college and knock 'em dead.

SOOO ready to start my life.

Here I come.

This is a tragedy.

My parents want to move to Utah.

Don't get me wrong, I fell in love with the little cities.

It's just... it's a fun place to VISIT not LIVE.

I hope this doesn't go through.

If it does... sacrebleu!

It's gonna be okay.

All the anger.

bitterness.

rage.

shame.

disappointment.

It will go away right?

Thanks for ruining my christmas.

I hate you. Just when I think I don't care.... you come back.

Gahhh.

To hell with you.