This is a tragedy.

My parents want to move to Utah.

Don't get me wrong, I fell in love with the little cities.

It's just... it's a fun place to VISIT not LIVE.

I hope this doesn't go through.

If it does... sacrebleu!

It's gonna be okay.

All the anger.

bitterness.

rage.

shame.

disappointment.

It will go away right?

Thanks for ruining my christmas.

I hate you. Just when I think I don't care.... you come back.

Gahhh.

To hell with you.

Baby... I miss you.

Reporting to you LIVE from my bedroom.

(like I always do.)

Well, well, well. Tis' the season!

I have a bloody nose guys.

I know, I know it's sick...but I don't know why it happens.

It's stresses me out. Anyway, I will be going to Utah for the holidays. I leave tomorrow.

I'm excited to see my family.(:

As my dear, dear, dear bess fren says.

Happy Christmas and Merry New Year my fellow bloggers.

Have an amazing Week and hope you enjoy the holidays!(:

You know how people see us?

Not the REAL us. But the person we are on the surface?

And they begin to judge. Judge in such a cruel matter that makes you want to scream.

It's not like they have the decency to say it out loud, but the way they look at you up and down. the way they start throwing around mean slurs. It's cruel. it's vile. It's the human mind.

We live in such a perverse world.

Vanity.

Sex.

Drugs.

That's all we hear.

That's what surrounds us.

That's what we're taken in by.

I really wish to leave this world.

Something that has been haunting me?

Will I go to heaven or hell?

Seeing is believing?

Thoughts haunt.

Deeply moved.

Energy frozen.

Mind stumped.

Heart beating.

Breaking out.

Memories float.

Something I never expected to get out of blogging?
To learn about myself.
To watch myself grow.
I have just about read all my posts and I saw what a journey it has been. I mean it's not over but I know that all that I have been through is just a process. The race isn't over yet. I'm glad I'm doing this. It's fun getting to know myself.
The real me.
Not the girl I pretend to be.
But the girl I really am.
I'm just a lost sould trying to figure myself out.
I'm real.
I'm me.
I'm a human being.
I can finally see that now.

I love you.

Three words that have lost their meaning for me.

I.

love.

you.

Yep.. feel nothing.

The heartache is slowly leaving. All I have left are memories. Memories that are taking their sweet ass time to fade away.

I don't know what I feel more. Regret or sadness. I guess they all tie together in the end.

Oh and you jealousy just keep strolling by don't cha?

Making me want to hurt every girl I see near him.

Wanna know what's the hardest thing for me to do right now?

Forgive.




I can't do it.
Maybe it's my pride.
Or stupid jealousy.
but I just can't.
I can't seem to do it.
I may say I forgive.
But frankly... actions speak louder than words don't they darling?




Iloveyou.
iloveyou.
iloveyou.
iloveyou.
iloveyou.
iloveyou.
iloveyou.


I'll get back to you when those words mean something to me again.

My words are lost.

I'm scared.

Scared of what comes next.

Reality is something I just want to escape.

Sometimes I think it's just good to cry.

Let it all out.

Because if I keep it inside any longer... I don't know what I'll do.