I guess I'm just bummed out summer is over.
It's been a busy week.
So... I need to vent.
Promise not to judge me?
Here goes... I hate my face. I hate that I have to wake up everyday feeling the way I am. I hate the thoughts I get of discouragement and failure. I hate that I have pressure from my parents. I hate how I'm not perfect at church. I hate that I count myself out of everything. I hate how negative I can be at times. I hate how I "play it too cool". I hate that I wish I was someone else. I hate how my plans always fail. I hate how I always put my self down. I hate/love that I'm a senior.(bittersweet)I hate that I'm growing up. I hate that my friends are super rude. I hate that I feel like no one understands me. I hate that I feel like a big baby as I'm writing this. I hate how I'm thinking about deleting this but I won't. I hate how I'm lazy and won't clean my room. I hate getting criticized. Especially about my singing. I hate that I
can't receive CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I hate that I'm fat. I hate being scared. I hate my past and I'm scared if people know about it. I hate how I don't completely depend on God. I hate how sometimes I feel so ugly and gross. I hateee my legs. I hate walking past people and trying to figure out what they're gonna say about me.
I just want someone to be proud of me. I want to do something that will make someone go ... "Hey.. she's amazing I'm glad I saw what she did." I want to make a difference in someone's life. I just want to feel like I'm important to this world. I hate the fact that I let my parents down. I feel like they're embarrassed 'cause I'm fat. Another day, another struggle. I want to go to a place out of my head.
But hey... other than that life is okay.
Just sums up what I feel right now.
Actually no, not really.
"Everything will be okay in the end...
if it's not okay, it's not the end."