I hope she doesn't think I'm weird or anything.

This girls' blog is AMAZING.

Plus I want her to shoot my senior pictures.

That's not weird right?

A girl I barley know who probably doesn't even live close to me?

YEP. Not weird.

ANYWAY. She's got talent.

btw....

LOVE THESE.

If you could do these I think you'd be my hero.

I hate school.

Just kidding folks.

I guess I'm just bummed out summer is over.

It's been a busy week.

I'm tired.

So... I need to vent.

Promise not to judge me?

Thanks guys(:

Here goes... I hate my face. I hate that I have to wake up everyday feeling the way I am. I hate the thoughts I get of discouragement and failure. I hate that I have pressure from my parents. I hate how I'm not perfect at church. I hate that I count myself out of everything. I hate how negative I can be at times. I hate how I "play it too cool". I hate that I wish I was someone else. I hate how my plans always fail. I hate how I always put my self down. I hate/love that I'm a senior.(bittersweet)I hate that I'm growing up. I hate that my friends are super rude. I hate that I feel like no one understands me. I hate that I feel like a big baby as I'm writing this. I hate how I'm thinking about deleting this but I won't. I hate how I'm lazy and won't clean my room. I hate getting criticized. Especially about my singing. I hate that I

can't receive CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I hate that I'm fat. I hate being scared. I hate my past and I'm scared if people know about it. I hate how I don't completely depend on God. I hate how sometimes I feel so ugly and gross. I hateee my legs. I hate walking past people and trying to figure out what they're gonna say about me.

I just want someone to be proud of me. I want to do something that will make someone go ... "Hey.. she's amazing I'm glad I saw what she did." I want to make a difference in someone's life. I just want to feel like I'm important to this world. I hate the fact that I let my parents down. I feel like they're embarrassed 'cause I'm fat. Another day, another struggle. I want to go to a place out of my head.

But hey... other than that life is okay.

Just sums up what I feel right now.

Actually no, not really.

"Everything will be okay in the end...

if it's not okay, it's not the end."

Yeah baby.

You've got a face for a smile you know...

A shame you waste it when your breaking me slowly.

Demi; Your all Disney, but I love this song(:

And catch me.

Dang girl you're deep.

As for you Chace; Marry me♥

EXTENSIONS.

I need new ones.

The hair is fine... I guess I need new clips.

Is that possible?

Just like cut out the clips and get new ones?

I'll see to that.

Anyway I also need to

dye it.

My roots are growing back.

What color though?

Any suggestions?

Hm.

I'm not diggin' my short hair so

I'll for sure keep my extensions.

I also want my bangs to grow out.

I'm a bit sketchy about that part.

Cause I use my bangs to hide myself sometimes.

Eh, I'll keep 'em around.

I want LONG bangs though like.. this;

you know, choppy but long.

Right now I have full bangs but

I pull them off to the side.

I think I'll go light.

Hm.. yeah light.

and looong(:

I wanna be...

MORE than just a name to people.

Rejected.

Ignored.

Made Less.

Self-Conscious.

Insecure.

Fat.

Ugly.

Scarred.

Alone.

Betrayed.

Humiliated.

Torn Apart.

Needy.

Moody.

Angry.

Sad.

Stupid.

That's what I was.

I'm still struggling.

Ugh.

I'm finishing the race that

was set before me.

I feel like I'm loosing.

I feel like I have two faces.

Get rid of that.

NOW.

Dear Heart... Why Him?

I am trying to remember. Remember what makes me happy. I forgot how. I hate days like this. One day I'm great. The other I'm not.

Bipolar?

Ah.

I am flipping through the thousands and millions of memories in my head. I can't... remember.

I'd rather die than loose you.

Is it ever going to be ... enough?

I miss you.

ALOT.

kissme&makeitbetter.

Forget about

yesterday.

DONEDEAL?

I hate that I depend on you.

Godwhendidthishappen?

Makemewhole.

I remember when I was deeply wounded but, I survived♥

I'm still alive.

Girl's night went rather well.

I loved being with my girls♥